Sam at 9 weeks old on the first day I brought him home.
It’s past 1am and I can’t sleep. I’ve been lying in bed crying and words are all jumbled up in my head and I have to write them down.
Just over an hour ago I was reading about yet another friend who suddenly had to say goodbye to their furry dog companion. There seems to have been an epidemic of this scenario lately. This was a rather gut wrenching account that had me bawling as I read it. So much so that I had to get up and go downstairs and wake Sam up for a cuddle.
He was a bit bewildered and concerned but obliging nonetheless. As dogs always are. Anything for their humans, right? But even after I went to bed I couldn’t stop thinking about this post I had just read, and crying. Crying because what if it was Sam? What if it was my furry blond fluffernut?
What is it about dogs that makes them fill up our hearts till they overflow? How do they hold so much capacity for love inside of them?
best friends barefoot at the beach
The thing is, with people, love always comes with challenges. There are arguments and fights, restlessness, sometimes grudges, sometimes jealousy, nasty words spoken in the heat of a moment that may not be meant but that can’t be taken back, sometimes outgrowing one another and sometimes just plain falling out of love. There’s risk – risk that when you give that person your heart they will break your trust. Even with family where you can love them but not really like them.
But not with dogs. With dogs, it’s just love.
Just love.
Nothing else.
So simple.
My little vampire goofing around in my office
It’s unconditional. It’s always there. It never wavers. They don’t outgrow you, or care if you have a bad day, or break your trust, or hold a grudge – even when you get mad at them for stealing your shoes or when you have left them all day for something fun without them.
And that’s what makes it so easy and so hard. So easy to give them your heart when you know without question that they will give theirs right back – forever. And so hard when you stop and think that they will only be with your for a short time frame in the grand scheme of things and you will have to say goodbye one day.
Sammy will be 3 next month. The magic age where everyone says Labs calm down and outgrow their puppy exuberance. I can already see it happening and part of me is glad but part of me wants him to stop getting older right now and keep that puppy curiosity and energy forever. Labs live, on average, to be 12. I can’t even bare to think that 1/4 of his life is nearly over. Knowing that, even if he stays healthy and lives to be old and grey, he will not be here for long makes me start crying all over again.
sleeping with his head on my leg - anything to be nearby
It even makes me wonder how I could have signed up for this. How can I love him so much knowing I will have to say goodbye one day? But then I think, how could I not? I was gone the moment I saw that little yellow ball of fur stuck behind a flower bush busy being nosy while all his litter mates were playing near their mum. The minute I picked him up and he chewed on my ear. The breeders told me to think about it for a day or two and I dutifully did but I knew already that my heart had been handed over on a silver platter and he’d sent his right back. He picked me like he knew I needed him and he was right.
My heart goes out to each and every one of my friends and acquaintances who has had to say goodbye to their sweet furry friends the past few months. It’s heartbreaking.
Pure, simple, uncomplicated love. It’s the gift that dogs give us and let us give back to them.
oh no! Your post has me crying at my desk.
Pets just become part of the family.. perfect little fur babies that only want to love you. Losing a pet is so so sad and so hard. I had many a kitty die when I was growing up and now I literally have to leave the room if someone starts talking about cats passing away because I get so sad.
Your dog is so cute and so lucky to have an owner like you to love and love him back.
What a beautiful post. I always love your pictures of Sam. My guyzos are already 5, and I’m determined to make every day of their lives a great one. They remind me to live in the present, as much as I can.
Oh, sweetie! I know what you mean. Its like having kids, but kids grow up and grow away! Pets don’t. My Holden is infuriating at times, and a pain of a cat, but oh boy, I wouldn’t give him up for anything. Because he is family, and like my li’l girls sibling (and they sure fight like siblings too)
Sammy is such a beautiful doggy, and you have to remember that he will be with you for a long time. Try and focus on the now, and all the fun you’re having with him. I do this with my Holden and Aditi, and its a fleeting pleasure, but the memories will last a lifetime.
Hugs to you both!!
Oh my god, that face! He is perfectly lovable. He is lucky to have you – we are pets’ families, and are just as important to them as they are to us. I loved this post – now I have to go force affection on le chat.
Ahh, that first picture of Sam melts my heart!
You couldn’t have said it better about dogs being the perfect companions. My first dog was with me from when I was 5 years old until a month before I left for university at 17. She was there through the horrid “teen years” when I fought with my friends and wondered why boys didn’t want to date me. It was the hardest thing to say goodbye, but even now, 10 years later, she still pops up in my dreams and I remember every single detail about her, with the way her eyes would soften when she looked at me, the smell of her fur and the sound of her collar jingling when she would sneak in my room to sleep by my bed at night.
You and Sam are so lucky to have each other and I can see the love in every picture you share. Hope you feel better! 🙂
You expressed the unconditional love and loyalty we receive from our dogs so perfectly and so eloquently. I have nothing to add other than my condolences to all those who have had to endured the loss of their beloved four-legged family members and to say that I understand completely what you have shared. I have a furry four-legged dispenser of unconditional love and loyalty myself and can’t hardly imagine our family before he became a part of it.
When I lost my dear sweet cat I thought I’d never stop crying, but the worst was seeing him so sick and knowing he had to leave me before I was ready to let him go. We never have enough time with them, these furry family members. Like anything, I suppose, we have to enjoy them to the max right now and not worry about that day in the small, sad room at the vet clinic. Going to cuddle Sunny and Wee Wee (yes, that’s her name!) right now.